That's all folks.
Friday, April 12, 2013
The last 3 months...
After months of waiting for the FET (frozen embryo transfer) - it finally took place on April 2nd.
We used a different surrogate this time - one that has already been a surrogate previously and delivered a healthy little baby. I realize that it doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have luck on our side just because she has had success in the past - but it's all these little glimmers of hope that help me feel somewhat optimistic that this time will work.
I'll be honest that that last three months have been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life - and it's not actually because the first attempt ended with a negative result (even though that was a brutal experience to put it mildly) but mostly due to the new confusing and conflicting Visa regulations in India that only allow hetero couples married more than 2 years to pursue Surrogacy. With almost every passing day over the past three months I read/ received conflicting info on whether or not we are actually legally allowed to proceed with any further attempts. So one day I hear we can't proceed and then next day I hear we can. Even though I was told we are ok to proceed because our names were on a list provided to the FRRO of clients that have already started the process, I can't say I'm 100% comfortable and that we won't have issues down the road trying to an exit Visa for the baby(ies) or that I won't end up in an Indian prison (I do joke that I'll be choreographing and starring in a Delhi jail flash-mob performance that will end up on YouTube).
So it came down to the wire on whether or not to proceed with attempt #2. Darren and I were once again given assurance that we could proceed so we decided to give it the old college spirit.
We received the treatment summary today - and while I was thrilled to see that 4 of the 4 embryos survived the thaw, only 3 made it to blast and only 2 actually had a grade that was, in my opinion, viable to be in the running to develop into a precious little baby.
Results will be in on Friday. I feel completely different this time around though. I don't know if it's my brain turning on the coping mechanism by suppressing the feelings that I experienced waiting the first time....or if I've just been through so much at this point that I just feel numb....or if I just want this over with, good or bad, so we can move on with our lives...or if I just really think it won't work this time. I know I want it to work - but I feel a bit disillusioned at the moment
This is our last and final hurrah before closing the door on this chapter of our lives one way or the other. Even though we have 4 embryos available to try once more, should this attempt be unsuccessful, we've decided that that given the Visa situation etc... this is the end of the journey for us.
Positive thoughts and fingers and toes crossed.
We used a different surrogate this time - one that has already been a surrogate previously and delivered a healthy little baby. I realize that it doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have luck on our side just because she has had success in the past - but it's all these little glimmers of hope that help me feel somewhat optimistic that this time will work.
I'll be honest that that last three months have been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life - and it's not actually because the first attempt ended with a negative result (even though that was a brutal experience to put it mildly) but mostly due to the new confusing and conflicting Visa regulations in India that only allow hetero couples married more than 2 years to pursue Surrogacy. With almost every passing day over the past three months I read/ received conflicting info on whether or not we are actually legally allowed to proceed with any further attempts. So one day I hear we can't proceed and then next day I hear we can. Even though I was told we are ok to proceed because our names were on a list provided to the FRRO of clients that have already started the process, I can't say I'm 100% comfortable and that we won't have issues down the road trying to an exit Visa for the baby(ies) or that I won't end up in an Indian prison (I do joke that I'll be choreographing and starring in a Delhi jail flash-mob performance that will end up on YouTube).
So it came down to the wire on whether or not to proceed with attempt #2. Darren and I were once again given assurance that we could proceed so we decided to give it the old college spirit.
We received the treatment summary today - and while I was thrilled to see that 4 of the 4 embryos survived the thaw, only 3 made it to blast and only 2 actually had a grade that was, in my opinion, viable to be in the running to develop into a precious little baby.
Results will be in on Friday. I feel completely different this time around though. I don't know if it's my brain turning on the coping mechanism by suppressing the feelings that I experienced waiting the first time....or if I've just been through so much at this point that I just feel numb....or if I just want this over with, good or bad, so we can move on with our lives...or if I just really think it won't work this time. I know I want it to work - but I feel a bit disillusioned at the moment
This is our last and final hurrah before closing the door on this chapter of our lives one way or the other. Even though we have 4 embryos available to try once more, should this attempt be unsuccessful, we've decided that that given the Visa situation etc... this is the end of the journey for us.
Positive thoughts and fingers and toes crossed.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Chapter 2...
Monday was an absolutely terrible day. It's funny that even though we knew
the reality of probability and percentages and we talked about the various
"what ifs", I don't think we actually had ever really
convinced ourselves that the news would be anything but positive (well at least
I didn’t). I guess after the months and months spent obsessing about attempt
#1, how could the news be anything but positive? In fact I had kinda already
moved on to worrying about the scan of the sacs and the heartbeat and getting
through the first trimester.
It's been over 48 hours since I opened the e-mail from SCI and the sadness and tears have subsided considerably - thankfully. Now that the initial shock is over with and reality has started to sink in - there is no time to waste and time to move forward.
We've signed up for attempt #2. As we have 8 embryos frozen, this attempt will be a FET (frozen embryo transfer). Aside from the embryos being frozen and an additional 10% decrease in the likelihood of this turning into a positive pregnancy, the embryos that survive the thaw (they won't all necessarily make it unfortunately) will be allowed to develop a couple of more days to blastocyst (not all make it to blastocyst either), we'll be using ALH (assisted laser hatching). There are a lot of theories out there on blastocyst - but if you combine my complete lack of medical knowledge with the various articles/ research I've come across - embryos at blastocyst plus leveraging AHL *should* have an easier time implanting into the uterine lining. That said, I must do a better job this time around being a little more realistic with expectations.
We don't have a confirmed date yet - I would like it to be today obviously
(remember I'm super impatient) but it will be a while yet I fear. Yay, more
waiting! When this baby finally comes I will be sure to let he/she know how
much waiting his/her daddies had to endure (nothing like planning the guilt
trips already haha! I kid I kid ;-)
So here's to wishing and hoping and praying that 2 is our lucky #, that our embryos survive the thaw, that they make it to blastocyst, and that SCI can find us the best possible surrogate ever). I am going to be positive...and hopefully this is way too premature...but should this not work we will have to start considering our other options.
Definition of Blastocyst
Blastocyst culture is the most advance infertility treatment which involves in vitro fertilization and embryo culture for 5 to 6 days until it reaches the blastocyst stage – a final stage of embryo that is ready to implant in the uterine wall to impregnate. The best embryos are selected and transfer into the uterine cavity. Traditional IVF is to implant embryo after rearing only 2-3 days externally into the intrauterine at the cleaving stage of only 4-8 cells. Blastocyst is a 5 day old embryo that is formed after the conception of egg and sperm. The embryo size before being embedded is 120-150 cells.
Assisted Laser Hatching
Laser assisted hatching is a technique whereby a small artificial hole is made in the zona of an embryo using a laser. It is thought that the embryo can then hatch more easily through this hole and hopefully increase the chance of the embryo implanting. Laser assisted hatching is performed just before the embryo transfer procedure. Some patients may produce embryos in which the zona is thickened or hardened making it difficult or impossible for the embryo to implant. Also, patients who have had several embryo transfers without success or patients who are older may wish to consider laser assisted hatching.
It's been over 48 hours since I opened the e-mail from SCI and the sadness and tears have subsided considerably - thankfully. Now that the initial shock is over with and reality has started to sink in - there is no time to waste and time to move forward.
We've signed up for attempt #2. As we have 8 embryos frozen, this attempt will be a FET (frozen embryo transfer). Aside from the embryos being frozen and an additional 10% decrease in the likelihood of this turning into a positive pregnancy, the embryos that survive the thaw (they won't all necessarily make it unfortunately) will be allowed to develop a couple of more days to blastocyst (not all make it to blastocyst either), we'll be using ALH (assisted laser hatching). There are a lot of theories out there on blastocyst - but if you combine my complete lack of medical knowledge with the various articles/ research I've come across - embryos at blastocyst plus leveraging AHL *should* have an easier time implanting into the uterine lining. That said, I must do a better job this time around being a little more realistic with expectations.
So here's to wishing and hoping and praying that 2 is our lucky #, that our embryos survive the thaw, that they make it to blastocyst, and that SCI can find us the best possible surrogate ever). I am going to be positive...and hopefully this is way too premature...but should this not work we will have to start considering our other options.
Definition of Blastocyst
Blastocyst culture is the most advance infertility treatment which involves in vitro fertilization and embryo culture for 5 to 6 days until it reaches the blastocyst stage – a final stage of embryo that is ready to implant in the uterine wall to impregnate. The best embryos are selected and transfer into the uterine cavity. Traditional IVF is to implant embryo after rearing only 2-3 days externally into the intrauterine at the cleaving stage of only 4-8 cells. Blastocyst is a 5 day old embryo that is formed after the conception of egg and sperm. The embryo size before being embedded is 120-150 cells.
Assisted Laser Hatching
Laser assisted hatching is a technique whereby a small artificial hole is made in the zona of an embryo using a laser. It is thought that the embryo can then hatch more easily through this hole and hopefully increase the chance of the embryo implanting. Laser assisted hatching is performed just before the embryo transfer procedure. Some patients may produce embryos in which the zona is thickened or hardened making it difficult or impossible for the embryo to implant. Also, patients who have had several embryo transfers without success or patients who are older may wish to consider laser assisted hatching.
Monday, January 28, 2013
:-(
We received the sad news today that we are not pregnant. Don't feel like writing much more for now.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Is patience really a virtue...
I can't get Madonna's Hung Up out of my head..."Time goes by so slowly for those who wait"
Every day feels like a week. Thankfully work has been very busy and has kept me preoccupied for the majority of the time. Of course everything on T.V., in every magazine, and on Facebook has been nothing but baby baby baby. Only 5 more sleeps to go, possibly 4 if the e-mail comes in early enough on Monday Delhi time. You know I'll be sleeping with my iPhone :-)
Someone sent me this and it couldn't be more accurate...lol
Next week is either going to be the best week ever or the worst week ever. We're of course hopeful that it will be good news, but are preparing ourselves in case it's not. We are having a lot of hypothetical conversations around here playing both sides of the news. I think we already have our backup plan ready to go just in case. What I've learned about myself in the past 10 days is that I'm actually way more impatient than I thought I was (which is hard to believe), so having a proper plan setup for either outcome is all part of appeasing my crazy self. I'm lucky to have Darren as my rock through all of this as I must be driving him a little bit batty :-) (maybe more than a little).
Good news is after the longest case of jet lag ever, more than a week, I'm finally back to my regular schedule :-)
Sending all the love in the world to Ms.A in hopes that she is doing well :-)
Every day feels like a week. Thankfully work has been very busy and has kept me preoccupied for the majority of the time. Of course everything on T.V., in every magazine, and on Facebook has been nothing but baby baby baby. Only 5 more sleeps to go, possibly 4 if the e-mail comes in early enough on Monday Delhi time. You know I'll be sleeping with my iPhone :-)
Someone sent me this and it couldn't be more accurate...lol
Next week is either going to be the best week ever or the worst week ever. We're of course hopeful that it will be good news, but are preparing ourselves in case it's not. We are having a lot of hypothetical conversations around here playing both sides of the news. I think we already have our backup plan ready to go just in case. What I've learned about myself in the past 10 days is that I'm actually way more impatient than I thought I was (which is hard to believe), so having a proper plan setup for either outcome is all part of appeasing my crazy self. I'm lucky to have Darren as my rock through all of this as I must be driving him a little bit batty :-) (maybe more than a little).
Good news is after the longest case of jet lag ever, more than a week, I'm finally back to my regular schedule :-)
Sending all the love in the world to Ms.A in hopes that she is doing well :-)
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
2WW
We had no sleep at all Sunday night...partially the result of jetlag (which I'm still dealing with, it's currently 4:40am) and partially because we knew at some point Monday we would be receiving an e-mail with the embryology report. Yes I know, sleepless nights are something we’re going to have to get used to anyway haha :-)
With Delhi being 10 1/2 hours ahead of Toronto, e-mails from SCI typically show up in the morning - and sure enough, shortly after 8am, it arrived.
"Dear Michael & Darren
We hope you are doing fine.
We would like to inform you that your embryos transfer has been done successfully...."
- 20 eggs were retrieved (thank you to our amazing egg donor!!!)
- 15 fertilized
- 4 grade I, 8 cell embryos transferred to Ms. A
- 8 grade I and II 6 - 8 cell embryos have been frozen
Fortunately I had this SCI blog post to reference After Egg Collection to help further explain all the details of the embryology report.
So, now we're officially in the 2WW...I have a feeling this may be the longest two weeks of our lives. Hoping with every ounce of my being for a positive result!!! Fingers and toes are crossed :-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)