After months of waiting for the FET (frozen embryo transfer) - it finally took place on April 2nd.
We used a different surrogate this time - one that has already been a surrogate previously and delivered a healthy little baby. I realize that it doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have luck on our side just because she has had success in the past - but it's all these little glimmers of hope that help me feel somewhat optimistic that this time will work.
I'll be honest that that last three months have been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life - and it's not actually because the first attempt ended with a negative result (even though that was a brutal experience to put it mildly) but mostly due to the new confusing and conflicting Visa regulations in India that only allow hetero couples married more than 2 years to pursue Surrogacy. With almost every passing day over the past three months I read/ received conflicting info on whether or not we are actually legally allowed to proceed with any further attempts. So one day I hear we can't proceed and then next day I hear we can. Even though I was told we are ok to proceed because our names were on a list provided to the FRRO of clients that have already started the process, I can't say I'm 100% comfortable and that we won't have issues down the road trying to an exit Visa for the baby(ies) or that I won't end up in an Indian prison (I do joke that I'll be choreographing and starring in a Delhi jail flash-mob performance that will end up on YouTube).
So it came down to the wire on whether or not to proceed with attempt #2. Darren and I were once again given assurance that we could proceed so we decided to give it the old college spirit.
We received the treatment summary today - and while I was thrilled to see that 4 of the 4 embryos survived the thaw, only 3 made it to blast and only 2 actually had a grade that was, in my opinion, viable to be in the running to develop into a precious little baby.
Results will be in on Friday. I feel completely different this time around though. I don't know if it's my brain turning on the coping mechanism by suppressing the feelings that I experienced waiting the first time....or if I've just been through so much at this point that I just feel numb....or if I just want this over with, good or bad, so we can move on with our lives...or if I just really think it won't work this time. I know I want it to work - but I feel a bit disillusioned at the moment
This is our last and final hurrah before closing the door on this chapter of our lives one way or the other. Even though we have 4 embryos available to try once more, should this attempt be unsuccessful, we've decided that that given the Visa situation etc... this is the end of the journey for us.
Positive thoughts and fingers and toes crossed.
We used a different surrogate this time - one that has already been a surrogate previously and delivered a healthy little baby. I realize that it doesn't necessarily mean we're going to have luck on our side just because she has had success in the past - but it's all these little glimmers of hope that help me feel somewhat optimistic that this time will work.
I'll be honest that that last three months have been the biggest emotional roller coaster of my life - and it's not actually because the first attempt ended with a negative result (even though that was a brutal experience to put it mildly) but mostly due to the new confusing and conflicting Visa regulations in India that only allow hetero couples married more than 2 years to pursue Surrogacy. With almost every passing day over the past three months I read/ received conflicting info on whether or not we are actually legally allowed to proceed with any further attempts. So one day I hear we can't proceed and then next day I hear we can. Even though I was told we are ok to proceed because our names were on a list provided to the FRRO of clients that have already started the process, I can't say I'm 100% comfortable and that we won't have issues down the road trying to an exit Visa for the baby(ies) or that I won't end up in an Indian prison (I do joke that I'll be choreographing and starring in a Delhi jail flash-mob performance that will end up on YouTube).
So it came down to the wire on whether or not to proceed with attempt #2. Darren and I were once again given assurance that we could proceed so we decided to give it the old college spirit.
We received the treatment summary today - and while I was thrilled to see that 4 of the 4 embryos survived the thaw, only 3 made it to blast and only 2 actually had a grade that was, in my opinion, viable to be in the running to develop into a precious little baby.
Results will be in on Friday. I feel completely different this time around though. I don't know if it's my brain turning on the coping mechanism by suppressing the feelings that I experienced waiting the first time....or if I've just been through so much at this point that I just feel numb....or if I just want this over with, good or bad, so we can move on with our lives...or if I just really think it won't work this time. I know I want it to work - but I feel a bit disillusioned at the moment
This is our last and final hurrah before closing the door on this chapter of our lives one way or the other. Even though we have 4 embryos available to try once more, should this attempt be unsuccessful, we've decided that that given the Visa situation etc... this is the end of the journey for us.
Positive thoughts and fingers and toes crossed.
Good luck boys.... It's like you have just put in writing the exact way we were feeling during our second attempt.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to reading more in the next few days. We have our fingers crossed for you.
How are you going? I hope you could try again and will have some good news for us soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks for checking in Meg...nice to hear from you :-)
DeleteSadly no (good) news to speak of. We have 4 embryos on ice with SCI - and even though we're told we can proceed, neither of us feel comfortable given the current VISA situation.
We're not sure as to what or when our next steps will be - since there's no way we can afford to try Surrogacy in the US, it just doens't seem like there are many, if any, options for us right now.
We're both still sad but trying to accept the cards we've been dealt.
I would love one day to be able to update the blog with some good news...fingers crossed.
Take Care,
Michael and Darren